A Theory On Nothing
I’m seriously contemplating a blog about nothing considering the current status of my contemplative state is exactly that, nothing!
Is it possible? Larry David created “Seinfeld” a situation comedy supposedly about nothing so why not a simple blog about nothing. What constitutes nothing, what are the parameters? When somebody enquires of someone else “What are you thinking about?” and they say “Oh nothing” is that in fact the truth or is it really one of two things, first, they don’t want to share what they're actually thinking about or second what they're thinking is in fact so innocuous that they’ve forgotten what it is by the time the initial question was asked, however a thought misplaced is still something.
At the same time when you look out a friend's window and ask “What’s over that hill to the left?” and they say “The Heaven’s Gate Orchid Plantation” and you say “And what’s over there to the right” and they say “Oh that’s nothing” how is that possible, wouldn’t the nothing over to the right if it was really nothing be just a grey void of dead space and not in fact “The Bongatolla Tar Pits” which are actually something, but out of a sort of visual embarrassment have become incorrectly regarded as nothing.
If you have nothing to say do you also have nowhere to go?
Billy Preston famously sang, “Nothing from nothing is nothing” which if my math, which is iffy at best, serves me correctly is one example of the conclusion being spot-on and only goes to prove that one can actually sing about nothing, figuratively!
Yet songs where the singer claims, “Nothin’s goin’ on” in regards to infidelity and sneaky sexual liaisons are quintessentially protesting with a lie even if their morals are buttoned up and intact. Listen ~ they may indeed not be doing the mattress dance in the local Motel 8 with the wife’s best friend but they’re most certainly doing something if it’s only gassing up the car or coaching little league.
Outside of song, narrative poetry and literature are simply teeming with heroes and heroines convinced they have nothing left to live for when indeed they have everything to live for - considering most of them are drop-dead gorgeous, have pots of money and talk like Romeo & Juliet. They may not have been Tristan & Isolde but even Sid Vicious weeping “I got nuffin’ left” over the body of Nancy Spungen still had a bloody knife and a syringe.
“Ring ring” “Hello” “Hi it’s Sylvia what are ya’ doin’?” “Agh nothin’” well yea you are, you’re talking to Sylvia!
I went to Tupelo, Mississippi once and remarked that it seemed like a place frozen in time to which someone replied “Yea nothing ever changes ‘round here.”
How can that be? “Frozen in time” and “nothing ever changes” are miles apart, different assumptions, one logical the other illogical. “Frozen in time” speaks for itself: it’s an analogy. “Nothing ever changes” assumes the sun doesn’t go up and down, the mayor doesn’t get reelected and David Allan Coe doesn’t come and play Tipitina’s once a year.
And then of course there are the kids! “What are you up to out there?” “Nothing.” When of course they are in fact putting a saddle on the dog, creating a mural on the new stucco wall and making fondue out of mud and worms. Of course in the minds of children the concept of nothing seems far more reasonable considering that they are not that far removed from a time when they were in an embryonic state floating on a warm wave of fuzzy tummy fluid.
And with that being said I have nothing more to say other than I guess it is possible to write about nothing.